For years, we scoffed at ‘date night’. The idea that you’d need to synthetically jump-start your relationship through cocktails at a chain restaurant, or photographing yourselves in the living room like you’re off to a latter-day leaver’s disco. How basic. How mundane. Then we established our new tradition. On Fridays…

These Times These unprecedented times These unsettling times These strange and unsettling and worrying times These uncertain times These times of uncertainty These uncertain times of uncertainty These batshit times These turbulent times The Current Climate Current Happenings ‘Just now’ As we navigate unchartered territories As we sail these stormy seas As we walk trepidatiously into the dark abyss

…and let your cynicism go “In the fairground of the calendar year, Valentine’s Day is the waltzer,” I once wrote, in a column so embarrassing in its unenlightenedness that I can’t recycle any more of it here. …

Lurgy season is upon us. But at least it’s an excuse for some serious comfort eating. For all the common cold is a miserable ordeal — and it really is, she says in a pathetic rasp from deep within Tissue Mountain — you have to admit it does have some…

Let’s begin by stating the obvious: leftovers are better than Christmas dinner. It is, and this being 2019 I do not use the term lightly, an unequivocal fact. I have evidence; 65% of my Twitter followers agree, and the ones who voted ‘no’ are just being contrary. It’s part of…

Last week I found myself in A Bit of a Situation. I’d gone to my local deli and picked up some bread (with tongs, calm down), but halfway through putting the loaf in the bag I remembered I didn’t actually need bread. I’d already bought bread that morning. Rather than…